Untilted by Troy Jones
The boy leaned over the railing of the bridge looking into the churning water below. He shivered. Whether it was from the wind whipping through the steel struts, or from winter’s fingers slowly making their way down his spine, he didn't know. The red woolen jacket he pulled closer around his rakish body. His mousey brown hair bounced around his face obscuring his views. Despite all this, beads of sweat dotted along his brow as he continued to stare below.
His thoughts were as enraged as the river, and tore through his mind the same way. Memories of the past few days, the arguments, the tears, the mindless drive, kept surfacing only to be swept away and replaced with new images. His hand, so tight in its grip on the bridges railing, began to turn white. The night’s first strike of lightening illuminated the world and stilled it into one clear image. The roar of thunder that followed up drowned out his thought. His courage finally risen, he slowly began to push himself up.
Arms locked tight and stiff on the rail he brought up his leg and balanced on its edge. Moving slowly he dropped his body down so that only his heels rested on the edge of the bridge, the small of his back now pressed up against the rail, hands clutched back in their previous position. Toes hanging weightlessly over the edge he slowly began to lean out.
A single tear tracked from his emerald green eyes and down the curve of his cheek to rest on his chin. Slowly it gathered until gravity become too strong and it fell. The wind caught it. It buffeted it around some until the drop joined the rest of the water below. A single clear thought crossed the boy's mind. Soon I will be joining it. He stopped leaning out and brought his back to the railing. The wind flowed around him like a boulder in a river. So intense was its pressure that even releasing his grip on the railing and extending his hands out from his body and he was still pushed back.
The boy tilted his face upwards to the sky. The last vestiges of the clear night began to fade under the onslaught of the incoming clouds. Stars slowly, one by one, began to blink out. A metaphor for his life. His eyes closed to give him a moment of peace. He knew as soon as he opened his eyes the storm would still be there, and yet for once the thought of the world being there didn't terrify him.
He screamed. It was his contribution to the wild coming his way. His final one. He looked back down. Tears covered his face. He wished he could say sorry, but who would care. He leaned forward, the pounding beat getting louder and stronger. With his hands still not gripping the rail there was nothing to stop his body. The earth reached up and with its own force began to pull him into its embrace below. Slowly, his body fell.
With slow gathering momentum he arced down. Time slowed, frozen. The world stilled, as if even it rejected him. With a final moment he lost all sense of self and sanity. The hands that had held him pulled him up and back to the rail. Dragged, he was back to the unwanted safety of the bridge.
Chapter One
The brass bell jangled as the green door was pushed open. It sound almost drowned out from the gusting wind outside. Dripping wet the boy looked up from the stained tiles beneath his feat to see where his saviour had brought him. The diminished lights gave the cafe a warm sedate feel away from the storm front outside. Its forest green wall were pot marked from pictures long taken down. Behind the bar to the right of the door stood a bored young women wiping down a well-cleaned counter. Her blond hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She looked up to the newcomers with the look of someone who needed a break from the drudge of what she had been doing. A hand pressed up against the boys back and moved him forward towards the girl and her counter. A rich voice at out from behind him.
"What will you have?"
Startled the boy looked back, "Huh?"
The man looked down at him, "What drink do you want? You are soaked and this is a good place to stay until the storm passes. May as well get you warmed up so order a drink."
The boy stood looking into the dark eyes of the man that had moment’s before pulled him back into the safety of the bride. Longish black hair framed his face and hung down past his neck. Matted in layers it gave a look of desperately needing a haircut. His skin was a porcelain white. The making it seem as if it hadn't seen the sun in years. The boy was lost as if in a dream, his dream.
"Mocha" came the boy’s response once he had gathered his thoughts.
The Man looked towards the young women.
"Jasmine, is it," he said reading her nametag, "Jasmine I would like a large Mocha for my young friend and a Filter for myself. Large as well".
Jasmine looked at the both while writing down their orders. "What name do I put on the drinks?" She inquired.
The man looked down at the boy expecting him to answer
"Christian" the boy said.
The girl nodded writing down the name. She rung the drinks up on the till and the man pushed across a twenty to pay.
While the waited for the drinks Christian looked closer at is saviour. He stood tall and still, fascinated watching the women work. His jeans were dark and thin but not tight. A wet t-shirt clung to his body and the boy could make out the muscles beneath. A lightweight jacket covered the ensemble.
Christian closed his eyes and remembered back to the moment on the bridge. The hand grabbing him and pulling him back. His fist striking the unknown chest behind as the person pulled him off the ledge and back into a tight embrace. His sobs and gasps being muffled by the strong hug and hushing sounds.
A bus, it's headlights reflecting off the puddles already forming on the road screeched to a halt outside and jarred Christian back to the present. The Man picked up the drinks off Jasmine and looked around the cafe for a place to sit. Tables lined the other side of the cafe directly opposite the counter and putting them up against the window.
"To public" came The Man's voice. Christian saw him look back to the end of the cafe at the stairs leading up to the mezzanine above them. Without asking he started towards them with the drinks. Christian followed, as he was lead upstairs. The small floor was only half the size of the one below but was packed with empty tables. The Man led him to one above the entrance of the cafe. Its low table was between two comfortable chairs. The kind you would love to curl up in and read a book all day. They sank into comfort. Christian's gaze turned to the storm outside. He could feel the man's eyes on him waiting for him to talk. He could wait.
They sat sipping at their drinks. The silence stretching out between them. His companion seemed content to wait but soon the tension became too much for Christian.
"Why did you stop me?" He eventually asked, "It was none of your concern. You should of let me fall".
The Man looked at Christian. "Why would I do that?"
"It's what everyone else would do."
"I don't know about you but when I see someone in trouble I have to help."
Christian looked up at him. His green eye's watered and he blinked back the tears. His tanned hand came up and he wiped them away. "No one else would of," he said.
The man looked at him slumped in his chair through the steam of his coffee. He looked at Christian closely. Still wrapped in the red jacket. Armour around his body. Jeans still damp, with cuffs barely covering the converse shoes. He knew the boy was in trouble, without help there wouldn't be a tomorrow for him. The look of hopelessness and despair seemed etched into the foundation of the young mans features. His body sat in the chair as if it didn't have the will power to sit straight or even be properly slouched. If he hadn't been sitting opposite Christian he wouldn’t probably ever have even noticed him.
Despite how close they were sitting in the mezzanine the coffee table’s barrier isolated them from each other.
Christian could feel his eyes on him sizing him up. He knew he was being judged again. Great, another person that will give him there opinion of him and what he should do with his life. A look of anger flashed across Christian’s eyes as he stared at him.
"You don't know me,” he said. An edge of steel entering his voice. "You think because you pulled me off that bridge and brought me here that make you some kind of hero? Your not. You only delayed it. Not stopped it. You don’t know my life, or me, so don’t try to pretend to be my friend. It doesn't get better. That’s bullshit they tell you so they can have a clear conscience".
"They?" he asked staring at Christian.
"They. Teacher, parents, councillors. People. People who think they know you and can tell you your life and how things are going to be. They don't. Its bullshit. They don’t want you to be better, they want you to fit in the idea of who you should be and if you don't then they try to force you. Tell you that it's wrong what you feel, what you do. You need to change. Because if you wait, if you are strong, if you be the person they want you to be, then it will all be better."
Christian noticed that the more he spoke the higher, louder his voice got. Touches of anger entered his words. He watched the man’s hand rub at his mouth, pinching and squeezing out the jaw. His eyes turned off into the same storm that had held Christian gaze only moments before. After a moment his gaze swung back and locked on Christian’s. Christian felt as if the man could look into him the same way he looked at the storm. As if knowing everything about it. The stare became too much for Christian. He broke his gaze and turned to stare back into the dark night.
"Not all people are like that," came the voice across from him. "People only know their life. They assume that what they have experienced has also been experienced by everyone else. If you haven't, then you either need to go out there and experience it or you wont be like them". Christian turned to stare back at him. "Problem is everyone, all six billion and change of us humans are different. No two are alike. No two will experience the same life. Just people don’t seem to get that. The idea of a normal life, what is expected of us has crept into normality with no conception that there is no such thing as normal"
Christian stared hard at him for a moment "Where did you learn that? Your pop psych class?"
He laughed at him, "I never made it to university. Life happened before I could get there and afterwards there was just never a point of going. No I learnt this through living, through watching people. Through learning about people's lives and how they lived. How the loved. How they interacted with this world"
"So if your not at university what do you do?" Christian asked.
"Travel mostly" Came the response, "meet people. Talk to them like I am doing with you".
"So you expect me to now tell you my life and everything that’s happened?"
The man looked at Christian for a moment "Only if you want to."
"I don't," Said Christian. "My life is over, there is nothing more to tell."
"Then if your life is truly over don't you want someone to know your life? To understand?"
Christian looked at him, "You just said people don't understand each other. How the hell do you expect to understand my life.”?
"I might not," came the reply "But I could listen and there is nothing wrong to someone listen to you. Be like a living note for you"
Christian made a non-committal sound and picked up his Mocha. The white porcelain mug warmed his hands and felt good in his grip. He took a slow drink to stall his answer while he thought about it. No one had truly listened to him in years. He would try to explain, but they would just tell him it’s a phase or that he would outgrow it and then everything would be fine. Every time they told him that he would close his eyes and scream in his head, but then just tell him that they are right and go back to his dark existence. Slowly the world had closed in until there was nothing left. Could he really trust this flicker of hope in the darkness? Was the world really this messed up?
Slowly Christian put the mug back on the table. "There is nothing special about my life. If there was do you think it would be ending like this. Don’t worry about my story. It's not worth hearing."
"If you don't want to tell me your story then are you willing to listen,” he asked.
"Its your coffee" Christian said "I'll listen, but if this is a fairy tale, all lived happily ever after crap then don't expect me to care. Fairy tales are for kids and I am no kid"
"I don't think you are a child, but if I may ask how old are you?"
"17" Said Christian.
"Then let me tell you the first story I was every told. I wont tell you they way I was told because it came from many different sources, but I think you will understand this tale."
Christian looked sceptical "Why? Is it about someone who tried to die and how their life is all-better now? Cause I've been told that one and it's the exception. Not the rule"
The man chuckled, "No, but I think it has to do with many of the emotions you are feeling at the moment. It’s about a boy like you struggling for acceptance and love. Listen and if you don’t like it then walk away. No one is pressuring you to stay."
"Whatever," came Christian's answer.
Chapter Two
The news had been warning people about the approaching storm building off the east coast all week. Pressure built in the pacific with a sudden influx from the Antarctica below had pushed it inland making it a great way to end the first week back at school. Daniel pulled into the student car park. His Rav4 fitted easily into his usual slot. Pulling the schools jacket over his head he bolted from the car to the main building. He didn't have practice today but he like to get in a workout before class. He had science first period and it was good to get his blood flowing so he could pay attention in class.
The school was empty in this early. Not even many teachers were here. This silence was the only he would get today. Soon there would be teammates and friend, Teachers and his girlfriend all clamouring for his attention while at school. At home his parents waited to find out about his day and what he learnt and if everything was good. He didn't even have privacy in his own room anymore. So here he was, hours before school started to gain that slim measure of peace. From over head the school buildings looked like a giant anchor. The front reception with the administration block backed onto the main classes. Two stories high they stretched out to either side. A long hall of practical classes, science on one side, shop skills on the other, stretched from the middle of the block all the way back to the locker rooms and the gym poking out from behind. You could get from one side of the school to the other and never have to venture outside. He stripped into his workout clothes and went to the weights room off to one side of the locker room, beginning the routine. The exercise was good. It helped clear his thoughts and centre himself for the day ahead. About halfway through and sounds slowly echoed down the halls. Teachers inspecting their rooms and getting ready for the day ahead. Lesson plans being implemented and organised. He could tell whether a teacher had had their coffee yet but the speed they walked down the halls. Then the first sounds of other students. Their dragged walk of the first few that got there early to the joyous greeting of those that hadn't seen or spoken to each other in about six hours.
All of this intruded on his quiet until he could take it no longer. He left the weights room, showered and put back on his school clothes. By the time he made it to the science class the storm outside had really made its presence felt around the school. Puddles under student were everywhere and all held umbrellas of on kind or another.
He entered into the class, its benches facing the front with wobbly stools underneath and sat at his usual seat. Pulled his homework out from their last lesson, he did a last minute check to make sure it was all there and was all right. Other students filled into the room. He gave nods to those he knew and proper greeting to his friends.
The room was filled before the bell sounded, which in itself was strange as there were usually a few stragglers running in just after the bell. Seemed everyone wanted to get out of the rain. He stared at the usual splattering of science posters on the walls as he waited for Mrs Donovan to get there. The periodic table was placed next to an image of the solar system. You could tell these posters were old as the solar system still showed Pluto as a planet and the latest discovered element wasn't on the table.
Mrs Donovan finally walked in shacking the final drips off her school umbrella. She placed it next to the table and turned to the class. Daniel couldn't help but note the beauty of his teacher. Her hair pulled back into a bun, a white blouse tucked into the grey skirt. Black heels and stocking completed the look. 30 years ago when she first started teaching she would of been the teacher that had all the boys drooling in her class. Now her hair was grey and the smile never touched her eyes. The years had been kind. Her students hadn't.
Mrs Donovan reached up to rub at the bridge of her nose. A common gesture from her when something became bothersome. A look of exasperation entered into her expression.
"Mr Michaels, if your hand is up to give an excuse why your homework hasn't been done then I don’t want to here it. For those of you who have bothered to complete the assignment please hand yours to the person up front."
Unzipping bags and the rustling of paper was the only sound that was heard as the class passed their homework forward. Daniel gave a glance to his friend Sam Michaels and noticed that his hand had been lowered. The homework was collected and the class attendance taken Mrs Donovan proceeded to get the students to run the current experiment from their textbooks.
Daniel didn't see the door open. So intent was his concentration that it wasn't until his brain registered the quiet that he looked up from his task. The front door stood open. A shadow silhouetted in its frame. Mrs Donovan glanced from where she was helping Sam and moved to the door. A whispered conversation was held and papers were passed between them. For the second time that lesson Mrs Donovan reached up to rub here worry spot on her nose.
"There's not much lesson left but you may as well come in"
He took a step into the light. His hair was the dirty blonde of someone who spent too much time in the sun, hung long behind his small ears. A grey hoddie on top of a black tee shirt, with jeans that hung low on his waist. Green boxers peaking out from in between. A black bag slung over his back and still he hadn't looked up. All soaked from the rain outside
Mrs Donovan glanced at the class and then back at the papers she was holding in her hand. She couldn't hide the annoyance from her voice.
"Class we have a new transfer student with us today. His name is Greyson."
A slight muffled sound came from him.
"I'm sorry I couldn't here that. This time try speaking up."
He turned to look at her, his voice still soft be distinct.
"Grey" he said. "I'm called Grey".
Grey turned to stare at the class. His angled features and slight mouth with a button nose and tender lips were only there to hold in the bluest eyes Daniel had ever seen. Daniels breath caught, his heartbeat stopped. For a single moment of eternity, all there was for Daniel were those blue eyes. Squared wire rim glasses completed the look as Grey looked at the other students in his class.
Murmurs from behind Daniel told him that the class had gone back to there work. Glass clinked; chemicals fizzed; yet Daniel could not take his eyes off the boy standing at the front of the class.
Mrs Donovan reached into her desk and produced a textbook. Handing it to Grey she pointed to the empty bench behind Daniel. "There is an empty spot over there. Go sit down and do the reading in chapter two. It's too late to start the experiment but you may as well read what is supposed to happen"
Sam's voice cut across from the other side of the class, "If it’s in the book then why do we have to do the experiment. I mean cant we just read about it and move on"
"Because knowing and doing are two very different things Mr Michaels. Just because you know you now have a detention this afternoon doesn't mean you wont learn more by actually doing the detention. That is why I will see you at 3pm. Now get a move on Mr Greyson and try to catch up quickly"
Daniel watched as Grey took the book from Mrs Donovan's hand and made his way towards him. Grey had resumed is downcast stare and without seeing into his eyes the spell Grey had on him was broken. He was still shocked by it. For the rest of the lesson he couldn't concentrate on his experiment as the presence of those blue eyes sitting behind him was too strong. His heart played at double speed to catch up to its interrupted moment. The results he produced at the end of the class were passable but not up to his usual standards. Daniel shook his head trying to clear his mind. He was a boy, not someone that should take your breath away. Over and over the thought played out in his mind. The bell rung as if breaking the continued loop. With swift speed the class packed away the equipment they had been using and departed the class. For Daniel it was a free period. Time for him to study in the library. With a grab at his bag to make his way out of the class a soft hand grabbed his wrist. Its grip became a fire on his skin. He looked up only to be staring back into those blue eyes.
"Where do I go?"
Daniel looked back down at the hand holding his and saw its partner holding forth the papers it had given Mrs Donovan. Slow understanding crept into Daniels mind. The timetable held forth. Daniel felt when Grey released his hand from his own. Its weight caused it to drop back to Daniel's side. Slowly he raised it again and reached out at take the offered papers. With a quick study he saw that Grey had the same free period as his.
"Nowhere. You have a free time now until your calculus class. Then you want to be in B5 which is on the other side of the school"
Grey looked even more lost, a small tremble entered his voice, "So then what do I do?"
Daniel looked him over again, this time noticing the soaked clothing.
"How about we get you dry. I have a spare towel in my locker and we can put you stuff in the dryers there."
"Dryers?" Asked Grey puzzled.
"Yeah, we use them for the school towels and sport uniforms. There industrial strength. Shouldn't take them that long to get your clothes dry"
The boys made there way out the class and to the right. Back to where Daniel had been only this morning. Except for the squelching from Grey's shoes no other sound was made.
In the gym, Daniel grabbed his clean towel and a sports uniform and told Grey to put them on. He showed Grey to the lockers and turned his back giving Grey some privacy to dry off and change. One by one Daniel could hear the clothes coming off Greys body. The desire to turn around was strong but still Daniel faced away. The wet clothes appeared at his feat. Daniel gathered them and made his way next door and into the schools laundry room. He placed them in the dryer and turned it on. Going back into the locker room he was surprised to see no sign of Grey. The damp towel sat on the bench between the lockers where Daniel had left Grey, but Grey himself wasn't there.
The sound of a flushing toilet drowned out the patter of rain on the glass in the cafe. Christian felt the pause in the story more than heard it. Shadows created by rain, and light from the street in the glass on the window front, echoed the frantic search of Grey by Daniel. An exaggerated eye roll brought him back to looking forward.
"Gay boys? Is that what you think of me. That I want to hear about the hard times of boys falling in love. Whatever"
The outstretched hand picked up the black coffee and looked into its depths. Christian saw the eyes staring into the dark liquid held in its white shell. Slight ripples interrupted its smooth surface as it was blown on.
"I told you" came his voice, "this was a story of acceptance and love. That it’s about boys doesn't matter. It's not the content but the lesson I think you need to hear."
"I told you if you tell me a fairy tale I'm outta here. I don't need another life lesson in how I need to fit in. What? So this is to tell me how to kill off my freaky so that I will be accepted or is this a story in a world in which all ends well and everyone get along fine. Cause I have seen this world and no gets along fine with anyone."
"17 years old and you already know that much about the world. So where is this place that you have seen all that?"
Christian looked back along the floor and to the stair. His brow furrowed as with his eyes he tracked the quickest path to the stairs. His foot taping on the table in a frantic rhythm.
"I'm not normal. I don’t want to be."
With a hint of softness the calm voice floated to his ears. "Of course your not normal. A normal person doesn't try to jump of a bridge.
Christian let out a bark of laughter "Seemed like a good idea at the time"
"And now?"
"We'll see", came Christian response. "So where was Grey?"
"You want to know? I thought you didn't want this fairy tale."
Christian's gave turned back to the shadows "Its a way to kill time"
Daniel hurried to the towel and the end of the row. Still no sign of Grey. A slight tapping sound brought his gaze to the doorway of the gym. Slowly the door was rocking back and forth. He walked slowly towards it. Checking down each row just in case Grey was hidden there. The sound slowed and calmed as the bouncing door became less and less. A crash on the door with a whamp made it pick back up speed. What the hell? Daniel rushed to the door in time to see a red missile bounce on its front window, and a howl of anguish from the dodge ball thrower that had just missed their target. Spinning around to head back he collided directly with a body and went down in a tangle of limbs. His body laying on top of the other. Legs interlocked. Pushing himself up on his hand he looked at Grey. Instantly apologise came forth from his lips.
"I am so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't see you there.”
Blue eyes looked back at him. Again his breath caught.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Daniels words came out soft.
"Yeah, I’m fine. I saw you standing there and wanted to see what you were looking out. By the way you can get off me now."
With his brain still caught in those eyes it took Daniel a moment to understand that statement. His body was still laid on top of Greys. Quickly he pulled himself away and back to his feet. He hurried off leaving Grey still on the floor. With wobbled step he made his way back to his locker and sat down on the bench.
"I'm sorry" came Grey’s timid voice. "I should of said something to let you know I was there". Slowly he walked closer to Daniel. Standing slightly off and with his eyes locked back on his feet. One hand at his side the other across his belly clutching at his elbow he carried on talking. "I’m sorry. I didn't mean to. Are you okay?"
Daniel noted the sound of concern in Greys voice. How could he tell this boy he was shaken by his eyes and not the fall. The close contact of their bodies had sent his stomach into flutters. How could he tell anyone?
"I'm just a little wobbly. I think I may of bumped my head."
"Do you need to go see the nurse?"
"Nah, I've taken harder knocks playing footy."
Grey sat down. Daniels facing his locker. Greys facing the other bank of lockers.
"Where do you play?"
"Here at school. That’s why I have a locker and know about the dryers. My first year here I was a nobody. Had to clean up after the team and earn my spot."
"And now?" asked Grey.
Daniel looked up at his locker. "Now I lead the team as captain"
Together they sat in silence. Daniel lost in thought. What was happening to him? Those eyes? That touch? What the hell did it all mean? Time stretched and still they sat. A loud buzz interpreted the solitude
"Your clothes are dry"
"Do you want me to get them with you?"
Daniel thought about it for a moment. He needed to get away from this boy and the quicker the better.
"Its fine, you wait here and I will bring them back." He got up leaving Grey to just sit there. With deliberate speed he brought the clothes back.
"Just put the uniform in the clothes bin by the door. I will meet you outside and show you to your next class."
Daniel fled the locker room and back into the schools corridor. His breathing becoming erratic. Hunching down outside. His head between his knees, his back up against the wall, slow deep breaths to calm his nerves. That was how Grey found him, and the practice had worked. His breathing calmed, his pulse slowed, he showed Grey back down the hall and to his calculus class in time for the end of period bell.
Chapter Three
The day passed and soon the feelings of this morning were forgotten. Third period blended into lunch and then afternoon classes. The day resumed its normal pace in a way to clam normalcy. Even the storm outside eased into a consistent pour. By the time the final bell rung Daniel had forgotten all about happenings of this morning. A bag packed with a night’s promise of homework was the only weight on his shoulders as he made his way to his car. He followed the current of students to his Rav4 and managed to get his keys in the car door without getting too wet when the rain above simply stopped. Its sound was still there, if not a little louder, but none of its water struck him. He turned to stare upwards and was shocked that the sky had turned pink.
Her laugh came over his shoulder and enveloped him in an audible hug. A grin broke his face and he turned to stare at Molly. A true Irish. Red hair, rosy cheeks, and a light splattering of freckles on her face. Her pink lips broke into a wide grin showing off incredible white teeth.
His arms pulled her against his chest, her head rested perfectly against his torso. The umbrella above them wobbled for a moment causing a drop of water to find its way down Daniels back collar, causing him to shiver his body. Leaving his arms around her she leaned back to look into his face with a reproachful look and a playful swat to his chest.
"Well I don't know what you expect stranger, but just because I got you out of the rain doesn't make me that kind of girl."
Her voice was rich and soft with a slight Dublin accent.
"Ten more seconds and I wouldn't of needed the umbrella. My car is just as dry."
She tilted her head slightly to the right "Yes but then I couldn't of done this". Lifting herself onto her toes she gently pressed their lips together. His arms tightened around Molly deepening the kiss. Savouring it. Making it last. He saw the look of surprise on Molly’s face but soon her eyes rolled back and her lids closed. The embrace lasted till a voice cut through the moment telling them to get a room.
The look of surprise came back on Molly’s face as she turned to look at Daniel.
"What has gotten into you today. You have never kissed me like that before."
Truth flashed across his mind bringing itself a touch of fear.
"I haven't seen you all week", he lied, "I missed you and wanted to show it to you"
Teeth biting her lower lip she turned her puppy dog eyes to stare up at him
"You give me a lift home and I will let you kiss me like that for as long as you want."
Daniel cocked and eyebrow. "Really? Then get in."
He turned back to find his keys still in the cars door lock. Opening the car he guided Molly to the passenger side and helped her in. They made there way out of school and off home.
Molly's house was set back a ways from the street surrounded by a high, well maintained hedge. A brick three story colonial home down a nice gravel drive. Its white porch stretched around the front and side of the house with a duplicate on the story above. Green lawn surrounded it on nearly every side. Lattice and frame work with creeping vines on the other two sides all ending at the sloping grey roof making the third floor. Daniel pulled up as close to the front porch as he could and the two made their way up the stairs and to the front swing seat hanging there.
"Where were we?” he asked her. His arm slipped around her back and with a slight strain Daniel turned to look at Molly and brought his lips back to hers. With her lips pressed against his, he created a slight parting and ran his tongue along her mouth, slightly opening and with intertwining tongues he allowed his hand to slip down Molly's back. Her hand opened the top two buttons of his shirt and slipped inside. Fingers found his nipple and he let out a slight gasp. His teeth nibbled at her lip tugging it out and sucking it into his mouth. Molly stood and pushed Daniel back hard against the seat. Placing on knee on either side of Daniel she kneeled until she was sitting on his lap. Her hands cupped his face and pulled him back into the kiss. His hands explored under her back, keeping her steady but slipping under her shirt to feel the soft smooth skin. Read hair flowed down along his cheek giving them a curtain to hide behind. A car horn sounded breaking the moment as both turned to see if anyone was coming up the empty drive. Safe, Molly turned back to Daniel.
"Relax, my parents won’t be home for a couple of hours. Benefits of being a latch key kid." Molly bit at the lip Daniel had just let go of. Daniel knew it was hard for him to resist that look as she had worked it on him many times. "We could move this inside and up to my room if you like."
The heard the hint of suggestion in her voice. Her subtext spoke volumes. This was a line they had never crossed. Were they ready? Both had promised to stay celibate until marriage. A promise made in their school on behalf of their faith. Was this the time to cross it? No.
Daniel dropped his face so he wouldn't be looking at her. "I can't. In fact I have to go." Molly got off Daniel. A slight look of hurt in her face. She had never offered herself to him before and he had never pressured her to. And now she had, he had turned her aside. She turned her back on him "Okay. I understand".
He stood "I don’t think you do. I have a ton of work and with practice tomorrow I need to get it done tonight. I still think you are the most beautiful girl in all of school and I have never thought different."
"Sure, I understand" It was the slight edge of sarcasm in her voice that made him turn her around so she would look at him. He looked directly at her face. His heart gave off a steady beat. "We will have plenty of time for that later. Our whole lives to be together. There is no rush now."
He saw the smile in her eyes before it touched her lips. "I know. I'm sorry. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Of course. I will see you for lunch."
"Then it’s a date"
It was his turn to smile "As much as one can have in this town."
With a final kiss to her cheek he turned and made his way back to his car and down the drive. What the hell had gotten into him? He knew but it wasn't something he wanted to think about. His home was in the other direction and he would have to go back past the school. It was a familiar drive and with so much on his brain, the rain gave him a good excuse to drive slow.
Chapter Four
With a final glance to the girl waiting on the porch Daniel headed off into the afternoon. The days darkening sky gave no true sense of afternoon or evening. Only the murk of the weather descending on the car. The trees and houses all seemed to be swallowed in its void leaving nothing behind but the road itself to be travelled along. Daniel's thoughts themselves became as muddled as the landscape on either side. Outlines and thoughts but nothing the mind fog would allow to coalesce. Nothing that he would allow his mind to coalesce. Dangerous thought that he had kept quiet and hidden away that never needed to be shared or broached with another person.
The road curved. Headlights lighting up the cat’s eyes in the middle of the road creating a safe path to follow.
He knew Molly was a fine girl and everyone expected that they would marry and be forever. It was a fate that he had gotten comfortable with. The fleeting desire of this morning could be ignored. A brief moment that didn't need to be dwelt on. So why did he feel that he need to prove his manhood to Molly this afternoon. They had never been so dangerously close to breaking their vows, as they had been this day.
The school passed by. Empty now of all life. Stagnant and stationary. Dependable and stalwart in its teachings of young minds.
Daniel thought back to the terrifying silence of sitting next to Grey while his clothes dried. His hand inches away from his and the desperate need in him to reach out and feel that same fire that had occurred when Grey had grabbed his wrist. Reassurance that he was still there and not gone again. No. This was not what I should be thinking.
Flooding on the bridge. A detour sign pointing off and down the left. He would have to take the long way home.
First he had to graduate high school. Next off to university, studying law. Come back and spend a few years working in the city's prosecutor’s office or his Dads law firm. Marry Molly. Family. Kids. Enter politics. It was all so well laid out. His life mapped and planned. It was what he had been working. No need to mess it up. Stick with the plan he was given. Stick to the path.
The road became foreign. House's gave way to trees and fields. So seldom that he drove here that Daniel needed to start paying attention to where he was going. The void of the afternoon closed in more. The road became the only thing he could see.
It was the weekend now. Homework tonight then an early sleep. Practice in the morning and it will clear his head. Back to his routine. After practice and he will be at the mall with Molly. Lunch and then hanging out with friends. Game on Sunday. School Monday. The routine was safety. Dependable. It left no time or room for thought. Simple and predicable. Play it by numbers. The map had been handed to him, all he had to do was follow.
Headlights shone on an outline on the side of the road. With blinking realization Daniel saw that it was a person walking. Without any footpaths, all that was left to walk along was the roads shoulder. With a wide sweep of his Rav Daniel eased around the walking figure. Dark clothes, backpack. Obviously someone from school. Who would be dumb enough to walk in this weather? He glanced in the rearview mirror to see who it. No luck. Normally he wouldn't pick up hitchhikers but the weather was bad and it was a kid from school so Daniel pulled over and set his hazards on. The figure moved closer. Daniel still couldn't make out who it was. Dark clothes and a hood pulled up didn't leave much facial features exposed. Daniel reached into the back of his car. Plastic bags from the last time he got dry cleaning were still in the car and he spread them over the seat. A towel went over them. At least his car would remain dry.
The door opened. A head bobbed down so it was just looking inside.
"Stop looking and get in," Daniel said to the figure. "You are letting the rain in."
The body moved in and sat on the towel. Plastic creaked underneath. The hand moved up brushing the hood aside and letting the blonde hair fall around his shoulders. He reached up to take his glasses off and dry them on his soaked hoodie.
Grey finally spoke in that soft voice, "Thank you"
"Yeah, ah, no problem"
They sat staring out the windscreen for a minute. Grey still rubbing at his glasses, Daniel staring at his new passenger in the rear view mirror.
"There are some tissues in the glove box if you want to dry those glasses properly."
"Oh, okay"
"Where am I taking you?"
After Grey told Daniel his address, Daniel pulled back onto the road. Grey opened the glove box and pulled put the tissues Molly had left in the car. Drawing two he finally dried his glasses and put them back on. Turning he looked at Daniel
"Oh, its you"
Daniel threw a brief glance Grays’ way, "Yeah, though I think we should stop meeting this way."
Grey's eyebrows creased in a puzzled expression. "What way is that?"
"I mean when you’re wet". Daniel knew it was lame even as he said it but there was no taking it back. He had never been this uncordinatered before, or said jokes as bad as that.
They road in silence for a few more minutes until the came to the other crossing. This bridge wasn't flooded and they crossed the river with ease and headed back into town. Daniel watching the road, Grey staring at the view out the passenger window
"So where are you from?"
"Sydney"
"A city boy, how come you moved here?"
"Got sent to live with my Aunt"
"How come?" When Grey didn't respond Daniel looked over at him and saw tears well in his eyes.
Daniel saw that he had touched on a sensitive subject quickly tried to change the conversation, "So how was the rest of your day?"
"No problem's but Mr. Shanks kept me after the bell so I could catch up in history."
"Really? And that’s why you missed crossing the bridge in time?"
"Yeah, and the bus"
"No car?"
"No car."
Daniel thought back to his days catching the bus and the address Grey had given him.
"Your place is no where near the bus stops. How come you go to our school.”?
"My Aunt used to work there years ago" said Grey "She is still good friends with most of the staff and got me in."
"Wow. That’s lucky. My dad moved us when I was 11 so I would be in the right district to go to his old high school. It was very important to him that I attended. Best for my future."
Fields started to give way to houses and they entered into the outskirts of town.
"My house isn't to far from here"
It took Daniel a minute to orientate himself to this weird entering of the town and see that Grey was right.
"So where do I go from here?"
Grey directed him and soon they were pulling up to a small cozy street. In Daniel’s mind this area usually had a bad reputation, but as he took in the surroundings he could notice the pride and care the people of this area had taken. Houses were single story but nicely painted and clean. Yards were free of clutter and evidence of gardening could be seen in most. Fences we tagged free and also well kept.
The house Grey directed Daniel was similar to all those on the street. Reddish brown tiles on the roof, white walls that had the same color of the roof on the building trim and windows. An empty carport to one side of the house gave Daniel a chance to pull off the road and get the car under some cover.
"No one's home. Do you have a key?"
"My Aunt's home" came Grey's reply.
"She is? Where is her car”?
"She doesn't drive"
Daniel couldn't help but stare at Grey. Grey looking back caught Daniel in his blue eyes.
Quieter then normal, Daniel spoke "I have never heard of an adult that didn't have a car."
"She used to get too many speeding tickets so in the end the police took her car off her and cancelled her license."
"Oh, right. So how does she get around”?
Grey smiled at Daniels response. It was only little but Daniel could see the twitching at the coners of his mouth.
"Bus", came his response.
A sharp rapping sounded came at Daniel's window. Jumping he turned to look into the face of Grey's Aunt. She stood at five foot three, with white hair and imitation blue eyes compared to Grey's. A green raincoat covered her body with a clear plastic umbrella in her hands. Placing a cigarette in her mouth she knocked on the window again.
Her smoky voice floated through the glass, "Are you boys getting out of the car or are you just going to stay there all day."
Daniel turned to look at Grey and the beginning of the smile was now a full-blown grin. The women moved around the car and opened Grey's door. Grabbing his bag she pulled it and him out of the car.
"You too. Get out and come inside."
"But I'm just dropping Grey off" came Daniels weak protest.
The passenger door closed and the two moved back around the car. The women opened Daniels door reached into the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition
"I got your keys" came her voice. She started moving towards the house. "If you want them again you better follow me".
Reluctantly Daniel got out of the car and headed towards the house.
"Can I get my Keys so I can lock my car?"
"Shoes off" was the only thing she called back to him.
Chapter Five
Daniel followed the pair away from the front door and to a well-used back door. Kicking off his shoes in the laundry room he moved down a hall and around the corner and into a kitchen. The Kitchen was large and the heart of this home. The appliances, old and we cared for, sat atop green counters and brown wooden cobras. Fresh cookies sat on the island in the middle of the kitchen adding their smell and warmth to the home. Grey sat a table at one end of the kitchen, opposite to where the women was working, and following Grey's gestured invitation sat with him.
The women, minus raincoat and the cigarette and now in jeans and a workman’s shirt, retrieved two plates from one of the cupboards and two glasses from another. She loaded the plates up with cookies and poured milk into the glasses bringing them over to the seated boys.
"There you are, milk and cookies. Just what a growing boys needs." She squinted at them "except you are quite grown already so I'm wondering if you need something stronger?" She reached inside her shirt and produced a flask. Uncapping it she held it over Daniel's milk waiting for him to say whether he wanted any on its unknown liquid.
"The milk on its on is just fine", he said shaking his head at her and placing his hand over the opening of the drink. She turned to look at Grey "And you?" she asked. "Something to warm your bones?"
"No Aunty, none for me either."
"Then if your not going to drink go get changed out of your wet clothes while I have a word with your new friend here."
Grey rose and disappeared back down the hall. Grey's aunt took the vacant seat and turned her gaze at Daniel.
"So who are ya?" gone was her softness. This question sounded like his parents when he was in trouble.
"Daniel, mama"
"Daniel? You don’t have a last name?"
Daniel gave it and she looked closer at him.
"You wouldn't happen to be George's son would you?"
"Yes" He said somewhat taken back "You know my father?"
"Know him? I had him in my office every week or so on offence or another. That young man was always up to mischief and detention. Are you like him?"
Daniel looked stunned and a little amused. "No mama. I haven't had a detention in about two years and I never get in trouble. Who are you”?
"Oh, that's schools forgotten me already has it? Well young man I am not 'mama' as you call me, I used to be know as Mrs. Keller. But you can call me Aunty. Everyone else does."
"Mrs. Keller," Daniel said as if trying out the word. She was the principal before the current one and still rumors were whispered about her in the halls. Here he was sitting opposite her and eating cookies. Grey came back in dressed in track pants and a white t-shirt. Mrs. Keller, Aunty, left the seat and Grey sat down and started eating the cookies. Following his lead Daniel picked up one, popped it into his mouth and enjoyed the taste of chocolate chip.
"These are very good Mrs. Keller, Thank you"
"Aunty" came her reply "Call me Aunty, and you are most welcome."
Warmth of the cookies trickling down his throat only to be washed away in the coldness of the milk creating a weird sensation in his mouth. Daniel looked over and saw that Grey was also enjoying the same sensation.
"So Grey, how was your first day?" Aunty asked as if almost an echo of the question Daniel had asked in the car. Grey told her everything and she listened, making herself a cup of tea and joining the boys at the table. When Grey told her about the bridge and missing the bus, she tusked and muttered under her breath about over bearing history teachers while munching on a cookie. Grey ended his tale with the ride home "And here we are."
Aunty turned to Daniel "Well it seems I owe you many thanks for what you have done for Grey today. By your action I can tell you are not like your father."
"Yeah thanks", chimed in Grey.
Daniel noticed that Grey was a lot more himself and happy at this home. His hair was pushed back behind his ears and he never looked down at his feat or away but always at either Aunty or himself. When he smiled his face lit up with an inner light that radiated out around him. So caught up in Grey talking that he didn't ever noticed that they had thanked him. Aunty poked a finger at his shoulder and pulled him back to the moment.
"Off in fairyland I see. You might not be that different form your dad after all."
"Sorry Mrs. Keller"
"Aunty"
"Aunty", Daniel said "I was just thinking about", and he stalled for a moment not knowing what to say.
"It don’t matter what you were thinking about young man. But you are in company and you should try to pay attention and not mind wander."
"Yes mama"
"Call me Aunty"
"Yes Aunty, sorry".
"So what I was asking is for you to tell me a little about yourself and what your father has been up to."
Daniel picked up a cookie and munched on it giving him time to think his answer over.
Finally he said, "Dad did alright for himself. After school he went to university and got a Law Degree. He came back a started his own practice. He handles mostly family law, really trying to help people and his community."
A humph, came from Aunty. "The only thing that boy tried to help was himself." she muttered, "What about your mother?"
"Dad met her at university. He said she was the most beautiful woman on campus. He even took a poetry paper just so he could be in a class with her. His final project and he writes her a love poem, which he stands up a performs in front of the whole class. So taken by it was mum that they have been together ever since."
For the first time Grey's face turns away during the talk about family. "And what about you?" he asks.
"Me, there isn't much to tell. When my folks moved back here so Dad could set up his practice, they were married and soon had me. Now I am at my senior year of high school. I get good grades and play footy for the school. When I graduate I will go to university and get my law degree like Dad, then come back here and help run the practice. Maybe even go into politics one day."
"You sound like you are going to be a complete carbon copy of him,” said Aunty after Daniel stopped talking.
"Not really. This is just something that my family has been working towards since I was little."
Aunty looked skeptical at that. "Something your family has been working towards, huh?" she parroted back.
Grey looked at Daniel, "Wow seems like you know everything that is going to happen in your life."
"I have since as early as I could remember."
Aunty stood, pulling Daniel up with her. Despite the fact that he towered over her for some reason he felt small in her presence. She turned him on the spot, inspecting all sides of him.
"You don’t seem like a lawyer to me. You don’t have the fight of the need to argue that you get with most good lawyers."
That took Daniel aback. Never had he been told that he wouldn't make a good lawyer. Its what he had been told he would be.
"So if not a lawyer," he said while sitting back down "What do you think I should be?"
She looked at him for a moment as if evaluating him.
"I have no idea what you should be. What are your interests?"
Daniel thought for a moment. Between school and sports, church and Molly. It didn’t leave much time for interests.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I have any.”
“The I predict that you will be a wonderful drone in someone’s office.” She pulled a pack of cigarettes out from the opposite side of the shirt that the flask had been on and lit it with a match. “Everyone has interests. Hobbies’, things they like doing. Not because it will give them a great career, but so it will give them a sense of fun. Cause in this life you need to have fun.”
Thought about it. Reaching for the glass and taking the final sip of milk he tried to remember the last time he had true fun. His 12 birthday wasn’t it? It had been that long?
“I don’t know. I guess I like sports and music. But I don’t know when the last time I had fun was.”
Aunty looked at him. “You might not know the last time you had fun but know the last time Grey and I had fun.”
“You do when?”
“Right now, you with that milk moustache and the dopey look on your face” She couldn’t finish the sentence as both descended into fits of laughter. Daniel stood and went into the kitchen looking at his reflection in the glass pane of the stove. His brown hair was cut short with a slight fluffy look. Brown eyes stared at his nose and thin lips on his face. A trace of white milk stained his upper lip. With the sad eyes and hair gave off a distorted clown appearance. He turned back to look at the laughing two sitting at the table and broke into his own broad grin
Christian quickly wiped at his own upper lip. If any trace of Mocha was there it would now be gone.
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