Journal: Wibbit the Wabbit.

I don’t normally do these kinds of posts anymore but over the last two days I have had quite a bit of fun and I just want to get it all down.

So for me the weekend started on Saturday. Natasha and Sam had invited me out to their house warming that afternoon. I awoke around eleven in the morning, and ended up reading for half an hour. I had stopped reading Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol” last night in a really crucial place and I needed to resolve the cliffhanger. I had only meant to read five minutes but if you know his books, then you know why you can’t just read a couple of pages.

I finally got up and went and showered. Or at least I tried to shower. Dad had issues with his phone and that cost me the next two hours. So I was late when I showered and finally made it out to their house.

Sam and Natasha had built there on place. A new two-story house with a spectacular view over Auckland. Downstairs is a movie room and library. A guest bedroom with a guest bathroom. Upstairs has this open plan living space for the kitchen, dinning room and lounge room. The main bedroom has amazing views and a floating deck is there perfect for summer dinners and barbeques. It’s a house that in moments I felt comfortable in. They had built an amazing house. It was a great gathering and I enjoyed catching up with my family. Hanging out with Sam and talking movies and TV shows, geeking out with him was fun.

I spent the night with Dee and Jacqui. Dee had invited me out to her place to stay the night and as we were both going to an Easter party I decided to take her. The cool thing was Dee has a pasta maker so for the first time in my life I got to make real Pasta and that was fun. Dee still thinks that the dinner was okay, but I rather enjoyed it.

We watched a Mexican version of sense and sensibility, actually nicely done, and then the girls went to bed. I tried going to bed too but the neighbors were having a party, with loud music and singing. I tried sleeping, I just couldn’t with the noise. I ended up writing for a while (I will post the story soon) until I was exhausted enough to simply pass out.

Only to be woken by Quentin delivering me an Easter egg. I have said often before that I am not a morning person. I am worse when I am woken by others. It’s just you cant yell at a kid so I painted a smile on my face and thanked him. I got up spent the morning watching movies with Dee. Gothika and Queen of the Damned. I hadn’t seen Gothika in a years and had completely forgotten Robert Downey Jr was in it.

Jacqui had left early in the morning for work so it was just Dee and myself. We finally got your act together and headed out to Nykki and Dave’s place for this Easter thing. It was great because nearly the whole Kamo crew were there and seeing everyone again was nice. Nykki got everyone going with an Egg hunt. Only this hunt also contained a lot of naughty treats. It was decadent. I was a little slow on the up take so I didn’t get nearly as good a haul as the others but I was really okay with that. I’m not a big chocolate fan so it worked out well.

Afterwards everyone just talked and got along. I want to go into all the conversations I had but if I did I would be here all day. Just want to give a special thank you to Toby for talking to me about the Dresdenvers and to Scott for allowing me to go all insane with Doctor Who. Catching up with everyone, socializing with them all felt like exactly what I needed. Nykki and Dave served Paella for dinner and OH MY GOD. Best dish I have had in ages. I have to get her to teach me how to make it. It looked great and was so flavorful. If this is Spanish food I have to try more.

The night went on and everything just got better. Nykki played a short movie called ‘Kiwi’ set to Mad World by Gary Jules. Jacgui played a recorded clip from a radio show. “Now Ewing”. As the only sober one I got to do two separate runs to the store. First for smokes, (Thank you Nykki) and the second for ice. What was cool was the Ben joined me and it was nice talking to him and catching up on how he’s doing.

Okay and I don’t know how I got talked into this, but as Dave and Nykki have a pool, soon there were four of us going swimming. Dee and Jacqui had bought me a pair of board shorts so I finally have togs. Yaay. So there we were. Ben, Coco, Nykki and myself, ten at night getting into this cold pool. I say cold and not freezing because it wasn’t so bad. To tell the truth it was really nice. Nykki was trying to get Ben and me to float but we both just kept sinking.

So we got cold, or I was getting cold and hopped out. Warm clothes and a smoke got me feeling better again. I sat out on the patio by the pool with the girls, Ben, Dave and Coco and conversation turned somehow but predictable to the past. I don’t want to go into to much detail but the one thing I got out of it was, I am happy for them. I know its stupid. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am happy for them.

By now it was midnight and most people had left. It was only the ones staying the night and myself that were still hanging around. I should of left then, but it was two and a bit hours later before I finally said goodbye and came home.

It’s the thing I like most about a Dave and Nykki party. You just don’t want to leave. Their place is great, the animals are great, the people are great, the food spectacular and the night just races on. Before you know it, it’s two in the morning and everyone is clamoring for you to stay. I wish I could of, and it wasn’t for the off chance of finally getting lucky, but because I just didn’t want this weekend to end.

Sadly it did and I am home now getting this out because if I didn’t I would still be hopping all around the place. Only it’s going on four and I need sleep so I am signing off now.

Goodnight all and thank you so much for giving me this wonderful weekend. You have all been a blessing to this wayward soul.

Troy

The Beach House

The wind bit through the lime green blanket. The salt in the air flipped and teased over everything causing the wooden deck to creak. Waves pushed themselves up the dull sand, giving a rhythmic slap to the pillars of the overhanging deck. Struggling light from the setting sun gave its final fling to the fading day. The only bright spark left coming from the cigarette held in the young woman’s hand as she leaned on the railing of the deck.

Kelly dropped the blanket from around her shoulders, letting the cold tear into her. Her blonde hair gathered in the wind beating across her eyes. The light cotton jumper and sweat pants she wore were only for modesty. A shiver of winter reminded her that she could still feel, something she hadn’t be able to do in months.

“I thought smoking was how you planned to kill yourself. But you’re right, the cold would be faster.”

A weak smiled stretched across her face “I’m not looking to die.”

“Really?”

Kelly pushed herself momentarily off the railing, turning her back to the storm. Steel blue eyes meet the hazel of Jessica’s. Chestnut hair pulled into a tight ponytail. Legs pulled in snug as she curled in the swinging chair. Fingers wrapped around a steaming mug.

“What would be the point of stopping?”

Jessica stood, walking over to her friend “it’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

“Have you heard from him?”

Kelly huffed out a laugh, “Not since the diagnosis.”

“I told you he was too young.”

“God, where have all the real men gone?”

“When I know, I’ll tell you”

The two women laughed. Jessica sipped at her mug resting it back on the railing. Kelly took a final drag, flicking the butt into the water below. She pulled another from her packet, lit it and puffed.

“You’re smoking too much.”

“They can’t kill me any faster.”

Jessica groaned.

“He’s tweeting about her.”

Kelly turned to look out at the water below. The water had risen, “So?”

“I just thought you should know.”

“He’s found a women that can provide him the life he wants, let him be.”

“He’s still a pig.”

Kelly shrugged, “does it matter?”

“Guess not.”

The last strand of light released itself and allowed the darkness to consume the light. Kelly slipped and Jessica caught her, gently walking her back to the bench easing her down.

“We should get you inside.”

“Just a few more minutes.”

“You are looking to pale”, Kelly turned her head to look at Jessica, “paler.”

Kelly turned back to the sea. Perforations of light now shone above, tips of white peaked across the sea below.

“I’m not going back inside.”

“I know.”

“The papers are in the desk. Everything is there.”

“I will take care of it.”

Kelly grasped Jessica’s hand. The warmth spread into the women.

“I’m scared.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“There is so much I wanted to do.”

“Regrets?”

“I wished I hadn’t bought those tickets to New York for his birthday.”

“Really?” Jessica eyes widened, “You were going to take him to New York?”

Kelly shrugged, “It’s were I was going to propose”

“Marriage?”

“A surprise for his birthday.”

“Marriage?”

“I thought I loved him.”

“But marriage?”

“Just annoyed because the tickets weren’t refundable.”

“You never told me you were thinking marriage.”

A smile broke across Kelly’s lips “Can you move on from that?”

Jessica laughed, “Eventually, maybe.”

“You’ll get over it.”

Jessica’s laughter stopped, “But will you?”

Kelly’s eye’s softened at the question “Does it matter now?”

“I guess not.”

Kelly’s cigarette had burnt right down to the filter. Jessica plucked it out of the hand holding it, walked to the railing and flicked it over to re-join the rest of the pack. She picked up the abandoned mug, now cold. As she turned back, she noticed that her friend’s eyes were closed. Gently she sat back down, pulling the blanket over both of them. The wood still creaked in the wind. The water carried on lapping at the pillars. Dim light from the night stars played across the expanse. A single drop of water ran down Jessica’s cheek. The subtle taste of salt on her lips.

Voices Exercise: Show Don't Tell

In my AUT voices class we were given a writing exercise with the following guidelines:

Two characters

they have history

5-6 years ago character two did something to charcter one to destroy the relationship

No conversation between either of them since that time.

Now character two contacts character one.

they want to meet again, they want to talk.

First thing is to get the relationship in your head. Who they are, what they did.

Set up a meeting

your scene is the meeting.

Think about who are they

what is their relationship

What was the conflict

Where is the characters head at

use the landscape to express the emtion

You cant say what it was that character two did

Your story isn't about the event but the legacy of the event

Below is the story I read out in class

********************************************************

Jarrod took a moment to sit in the car overlooking the hillside. The barren yellow landscape, dotted with tuffs of long stemmed grass and rugged mountain sheep, the dull blue of the sky was slowly filling with grey. It wasn’t how he remembered it best. All the elements were there but muted when compared to his memory

            Gently he eased into second, took the sharp right and made his way down to the gully bellow. A single house with flaked paint, tarnished corrugated roof and large concrete water tank broke the continuity of the land.

            He saw the old man watching him from the bench as he eased up the road. Coming to a stop several meters off. Jarrod idled. What was he doing back here? Turning off the car he got out. The old man said nothing. Jarrod walked slowly forward. Still the man said nothing. Gently Jarrod sat on the bench next to the man.

            The gruff voice broke through the silence, “See you got my letter”.

            “How did you know where I live?”

            “Dickson’s down the road got that internet thing. They looked you up for me. You come alone?”

            “I came alone.”

            “Your family know where you are?”

            “I told them business.”

            “What have I told you bout lyin’.”

            “You told me many things. I haven’t listened to most in ages.”

            A wad of spit sailed through the air. It landed in a patch of earth, seeped in darkness.

            “You know better than to lie, especially to family”

            Cloud blocked out the sun. The grey was getting closer.

            “There are more important things family should do for each other than worry about who lies”

            “You still going on about that? I said I was sorry.”

            “No, you didn’t. You said it was time to move on and you needed to see me.”

            Jarrod looked up at the sound of the herd coming over the hill, tiny hoofs pounding the flesh of the earth, there bleating echoing through the gully as the search for shelter.

            “Would it help if I did say sorry?”

            “Would you mean it?”

            The man shrugged, “Don’t really know till I try.”

            Jarrod waited. The sheep huddled together.

            “It was a long drive. Do you mind if I use your bathroom?”

            “I ain’t got no bathroom, but you can take a piss in the toilet.”

            The house hadn’t changed not once in thirty years. Everything was clean but worn. Even the smell of jasmine still hung in the air. The wind chimes, unheard from the other side of the house now clinked. The only new addition Jarrod could see was the box of medical bottles badly hidden under a towel in the toilet.

            When Jarrod returned outside the grey had blanketed the sky. The old man hadn’t moved.

            “You should get inside, rain’s coming.”

            “We still got a bit of time.”

            “How much time?”

            The old man looked up at the sky, “Enough, hopefully. Depends on how long you can stay.”

            In unison the sheep gave a loud bleat. The largest made up the outside ring a primal act to keep the young and vulnerable safe.

            “I can stay the night. Bring Mike and the girls down on the weekend.”

The other actions we were told was to use the landscape to show emotion without actually assigning emotion to a person or action. To not reveal the conflict. Just the meeting. Like a single scene from a novel or movie.

So what do you think? Any good?

How Do You Take Your Love?

One of the recent lessons I have been taught is looking at the different way people express love. This can also sometimes be called a ‘Love Language. What I mean by that is simply people have a different ways to express themselves when it comes to showing love. The way a person shows love is also and mostly subconsciously the same the way a person wishes to receive love. There are five common languages when it comes to love.

 

1)    Time (Listening)

2)    Touch

3)    Words of Encouragement

4)    Acts of Service

5)    Gift Giving

If you think of your love like the tank in your car, then the way you receive love is how you refill said tank. If your tank becomes too low. it can led to some pretty negative consequences. Feelings of exclusion, Feeling unloved, rejected, unwanted, depression ect. 
The five languages seem pretty obvious.

Time is something easy, just being there for your partner. Listening to them and spending time with them. It doesn’t usually matter what it is that you are doing, as long as you are together. Spending time with someone is a great way to show them that you value them and they are a priority to you.

Touch is a basic and primitive way of expressing love. Simple contact, holding hands, a hug, a kiss, a hand placed on the small of your back. For children this is commonly the primary way they feel love. A touch from someone you love can feel like a electric buzz.

Praise, also knows as Words of Encouragement is a great way to give the person you love an ego boost. Being told you are worthy and valued sometimes is all a person needs to hear to feel good about themselves and know that the person speaking appreciates them and values them.

The forth language is Acts of Service. Doing stuff for the person you love and having them do stuff for you. I am not talking about Gifts. That’s language five. Act’s of service can be taking care of the one you love. Doing things for them to show that you love them, almost like being an old fashioned house wife, or assistant.

Finally we get to Gift’s. Buying the person you care for presents, small tokens of your love that can be pointed to and represented in material items. Things people can look at and know that you went out of you way to think of them and that you love them.

Most people will have a primary and a secondary language. Do you know yours? If not there is a simple strategy you can try.

1)            Think of a time that is comfortable to think of now, when you really felt totally loved. Or if those words don’t fit, a time when you felt highly valued by someone. Take the time to fully remember a specific time, a specific moment when you felt that way. If you haven’t found one in five minutes, invent a memory. (it will work perfectly anyway).

2)            As you remember that time seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, feeling physically your body at that time check:

In order for you to feel loved or valued in that way, is it absolutely necessary for a person:

a)     Show you they love you (look at you a certain way, buy you certain things, take you certain places)?

b)     Tell you they love you in a certain tone of voice or with certain words?

c)     Touch you in a certain way?

Which of these three things is absolutely necessary for you to feel loved? Which one is so important that even if the other two weren’t happening, you’d feel loved just with one?

3)            Usually feeling loved is a one step strategy. Some sight/sound/touch triggers the internal kinsthetic feeling of being loved. When you know this about yourself and your partner, you can ensure each of you is able to send messages when you need it most. To identify someone else’s strategy, ask them the questions exactly as written here

Know how a person feels love, know how your partner feels love, is important to the wellbeing of any relationship. If you can understand how the feel, then you will know how to properly express to your partner that you love them.

When I did this test, when I closed my eyes and thought about the time I felt most loved, the image my mind conjured was a strange one. I had thought I would think about my recent relationship but instead the image my mind conjured went back much, much further. I was being held from behind. Arms around my waist, lips nuzzling the side of my neck. Softly spoken words of love being whispered into my ear.

But this I deduced my primary love language as Touch. Being held, being touched resonates something deep inside me. Simple contact, even the idea of it, lifts my heart. My secondary was harder. For I while I felt it was either Time, or Words of Encouragement. I’m still not very certain, but as I write this I feel more drawn to Time. I don’t need them to talk to me, don’t even need us to be doing the same thing. But together, or in close proximity to each other is something that simply feels right to me.

If you have read this far then I encourage you to work through the exercise. Test this on yourself and if you have a partner test on them as well. I would be curious to hear how other people speak the language of love and if this it has taught you anything or changed the way you two are going to interact with each other.

TroyJ