Does that mean I committed suicide or murder?

The last time I was here I was contemplating saying goodbye to posting online. I had been told that people were making trouble for me because of my writing. It saddened me that if someone were worried and hurt about what I was write that they wouldn’t contact me directly so we can discuss their concerns.

I still haven’t made a choice as to whether I am going to continue or not. For my other blog, the not-so secret one. That one I have still been keeping up with. The reason I have chosen to stick with that one is because it is fiction, plain and simple and shouldn’t be taken literally. While it is true that as a wrier you should write what you know, and while I do pour my emotion into my writing, there is no direct correlation to anyone. I know some of you might not believe that but I promise it is true.

But please not that while I haven’t been posting much online I have been writing constantly everyday. Writing a lot. At night I sit with my laptop open and Pages running. And I type. Mostly I work more and more plotting what I am writing on the other blog. I have quite a drama series going on in my head about what those characters will be getting up too. And I have been trying different writing styles and techniques so it can be a little all over the place but it’s still good. One of the things I tried writing was a love scene. What I couldn’t help laughing at was even though I was writing it, I still found it kinda uncomfortable. How weird is that?

Now with good news, AUT has resumed. YAAY. While it is only the second day of classes it is a good feeling being back here. I have missed this place since having to withdraw last year but am excited to work hard and play catching up. The new building is open finally and the place seems so bright and huge. Most of my classes this semester are all over the campus instead of being confined to the tower. The good news is they are quite spread out so there will be no mad dashes but I am going to get to see so much more of the campus.

One funny thing. My first class is at nine on a Monday morning. So I rocked up to class and saw a friend I hadn’t seen in nearly six months. I waved hello only to receive a blank stare back. I walked over and sat next to her and that is when she clicked as to who I was. Apparently I look completely different from when she saw me last. The glasses, a decent haircut and now I come with the facial hair. All making me look like someone else. In a joking manner I told her I was a clone of the original, which I had killed off, an was now living his life. It was a joke when I said it but the more I have thought about it the truer it feels. The man I had become was no longer the man I wanted to be. So in a way I have killed him. And if we take that logic does that mean I committed suicide or murder?

So with all the writing I have been doing and the fact that I have been writing until somewhere between three and five in the morning, it means getting up at six to go to class has become quite a challenge already. Does anyone have any good tips about getting good sleep patterns?

Anyway I am sitting in class writing this and I really should do some work.

Until later.

Troy.