In
my AUT voices class we were given a writing exercise with the following
guidelines:
Two characters
they have history
5-6 years ago character two did something to charcter one to destroy the
relationship
No conversation between either of them since that time.
Now character two contacts character one.
they want to meet again, they want to talk.
First thing is to get the relationship in your head. Who they are, what
they did.
Set up a meeting
your scene is the meeting.
Think about who are they
what is their relationship
What was the conflict
Where is the characters head at
use the landscape to express the emtion
You cant say what it was that character two
did
Your story isn't about the event but the legacy of the event
Below
is the story I read out in class
********************************************************
Jarrod
took a moment to sit in the car overlooking the hillside. The barren yellow
landscape, dotted with tuffs of long stemmed grass and rugged mountain sheep,
the dull blue of the sky was slowly filling with grey. It wasn’t how he
remembered it best. All the elements were there but muted when compared to his
memory
Gently he eased into second, took
the sharp right and made his way down to the gully bellow. A single house with
flaked paint, tarnished corrugated roof and large concrete water tank broke the
continuity of the land.
He saw the old man watching him from
the bench as he eased up the road. Coming to a stop several meters off. Jarrod
idled. What was he doing back here? Turning off the car he got out. The old man
said nothing. Jarrod walked slowly forward. Still the man said nothing. Gently
Jarrod sat on the bench next to the man.
The gruff voice broke through the
silence, “See you got my letter”.
“How did you know where I live?”
“Dickson’s down the road got that
internet thing. They looked you up for me. You come alone?”
“I came alone.”
“Your family know where you are?”
“I told them business.”
“What have I told you bout lyin’.”
“You told me many things. I haven’t
listened to most in ages.”
A wad of spit sailed through the
air. It landed in a patch of earth, seeped in darkness.
“You know better than to lie,
especially to family”
Cloud blocked out the sun. The grey
was getting closer.
“There are more important things
family should do for each other than worry about who lies”
“You still going on about that? I
said I was sorry.”
“No, you didn’t. You said it was
time to move on and you needed to see me.”
Jarrod looked up at the sound of the
herd coming over the hill, tiny hoofs pounding the flesh of the earth, there
bleating echoing through the gully as the search for shelter.
“Would it help if I did say sorry?”
“Would you mean it?”
The man shrugged, “Don’t really know
till I try.”
Jarrod waited. The sheep huddled
together.
“It was a long drive. Do you mind if
I use your bathroom?”
“I ain’t got no bathroom, but you
can take a piss in the toilet.”
The house hadn’t changed not once in
thirty years. Everything was clean but worn. Even the smell of jasmine still
hung in the air. The wind chimes, unheard from the other side of the house now
clinked. The only new addition Jarrod could see was the box of medical bottles
badly hidden under a towel in the toilet.
When Jarrod returned outside the
grey had blanketed the sky. The old man hadn’t moved.
“You should get inside, rain’s
coming.”
“We still got a bit of time.”
“How much time?”
The old man looked up at the sky, “Enough,
hopefully. Depends on how long you can stay.”
In unison the sheep gave a loud
bleat. The largest made up the outside ring a primal act to keep the young and
vulnerable safe.
“I can stay the night. Bring Mike
and the girls down on the weekend.”
The other actions we were told was to use the landscape to show emotion without actually assigning emotion
to a person or action. To not reveal the conflict. Just the meeting. Like a
single scene from a novel or movie.
So
what do you think? Any good?
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